Willow in the Wind
by mandi-263
Summary: A Delirium story written in Willow's POV, focusing on how Lena and Hana have influenced her decisions.
1. The man next door

Mr. Fillmore's class is the worst. Not only is it the worst class ever, math, but Hana Tate and Lena Tiddle pass notes all class. Back and forth, whenever Fillmore's not looking.

They're getting into a dangerous habit, Hana and Lena. It starts as passing notes, being close friends and spending all day together. Soon enough, they'll convince each other that amor deliria nervosa isn't all that bad and maybe even become unnatural.

I shutter at the thought.

I push all those thoughts away as I see a note drift by my desk and land right beside me. Hana's giggling because she missed Lena's desk by a landslide. Lena is struggling to twist out of her desk to reach it, while Hana is pointing at it and urging me to pass it to her.

I pick up the note, smile viciously and rip it in two. I let the pieces fall and continue to listen to the worst lecture ever.

Half an hour later, after dealing with the stares of both Hana and Lena, I walked out of the class with their note tucked into my bag. On the walk home, my curiosity got the best of me and I opened it.

_Hey, you still coming over tonight?_ That was Lena, in her terrible writing.

_Can't. Mom's saying if I spend too much time at your house, I'll catch poorness. _Hana obviously had more experience in writing, being from a family that encourages the idea of schooling.

_How is that even possible?_

_I don't know. Maybe if you cough on me?_

I tossed the paper on the ground and kept walking.

If they want to catch deliria, they can be my guest.

As I reach my lawn, I hear the dog next door barking insanely. I didn't get any sleep last night, all because of that dog. The dog's owner is outside picking weeds, throwing a ball that is making the dog go insane.

"Hey!" I yell. "You think maybe you can shut that dog up? Some people like quiet." I grab our mail and make my way to the door, but I'm aware that he's laughing. I turn and face him. "What?"

"Nothing. It's just that no one else seems to have a problem. Just you." He's smiling, his full lips curled in, with chin dimples sucked into his face.

Having grown up in Portland during this time, appearances normally don't bother me. But there is something about this man, who can't be more than a few years older than myself, that makes me look closer.

His hair is stunningly blond, practically glowing in the sun. From what I can tell, his eyes are just plain brown. Nothing special. He is very well built, with large muscles that seem to be everywhere. He has a chiseled chin and long cheekbones, and a nose that arcs.

Another bark pulls me back from my thoughts and I am left staring at his confused face.

"Just... don't let it bark at night." With that I turn and climbed the three steps to my house.

My parents aren't home yet, which rarely happens, so I turn the television on and start watching the news. I'm not aloud to watch the news; my parents think the defense of the infected will convince me it's okay to love.

I cringe again. I'm not sure how someone lives their life with the disease. Knowing that it will kill them, and knowing that it cannot be cured once you've caught it.

Lena's mother is a perfect example.

I'm not too sure how many times she had the cure, maybe four or five times, but it never worked. She was infected and there was no help. My parents always use her as an example, telling me that I'll end up like her if I ever love: dead.

I hear my parents pull into the driveway and freeze. When the doors slam I turn off the TV and run to our kitchen island. I hear a key in the lock and open my math book. Just as they open the door and see me, I manage to grab a pencil and start my homework. My mother smiles at me and my father waves. I wave back and return to the homework.

I'm aware that I'm on a page of something I haven't learned yet, but if I switch pages my mother will suspect something, so I read the lesson on how to do it.

"Oh, I didn't realize you guys were learning about this," She points out. "I started this in my third year of college." I know that I'm done now.

"Well, we finished our lesson early so Mr. Fillmore wanted to teach us something new." It was weak, I know, but it was the only excuse I could think of.

My mother nods her head. "Well, maybe it'll be useful one day." With that, both my parents leave the kitchen and the conversation is done. I'm left alone with nothing but homework.

I can't wait for my operation. Right now, I feel so alone in this world, with no one to talk to. After the operation I'll have a pair and I won't need to talk to anyone. Life will be better.

My mother comes back into the kitchen for a glass of water. "So in three weeks you'll have your evaluation. Are you excited?"

"Of course." I force out. "But what if it doesn't work out. What if I do end up like Lena's mother? What if I catch it?"

My mother smooths my hair. "It's all genetic. I never had it, your father never had it, so you won't get it." and again, she was gone without another word.

I just hope she's right.


	2. Chapter 2

The next few weeks were the same: Lena and Hana would pass notes, Fillmore would be oblivious and I'd rip every note that landed near my desk. Sometimes I read them, until I read one about me. I ended up crying. My mother found me and patted my shoulder, telling me it would be all over when I was cured.

Again, Lena and Hana are passing notes. Lena quickly scribbles one, then throws it. It lands square in the middle of my desk.

I pick it up and tear it to pieces, leaving no chance of ever being able to read it. Lena sighs and scribbles again. Instead of balling it up, she folds it a couple times then scribbles again. Then she lightly places it on my desk and retreats.

Lena is on my left, while Hana is a desk behind me to my right. If she was wanted to pass it to Hana, she wouldn't have passed it to me. She'd have passed it to Jennifer Collins behind me.

I look down on the note and once again see Lena's hideous writing.

_For Willow: Do not rip!_

I sigh and open the note lightly, just to peak inside. I don't want to end up like them.

_Going biking later. Wanna join?_

I glare at her and rip the note right in front of her. She purses her lip and thinks. Then she turns and scribbles another note.

I take this one willingly, and read the messy script. _It'd mean a lot to me. I think we'd be great friends._

I scribble down a quick reply with as much force that you can put into a note. _I'd rather just do my homework, thanks. __I think I'm open the twenty-ninth though. _Considering it's February, I didn't exactly expect to see anything of her.

She scribbles down a comment and passes is over. _Deal! Don't you just love leap years?_

I raise my head and look at her, willing her to realize I wasn't being serious.

"Lena, I was-" I started. She had to realize she had said she loved leap years. She must be able to see that there is no chance I can spend any time with her.

"Willow Marks!" Fillmore screams. "How dare you interrupt my class! Do you have something to share with the class?"

I stare at him, mouth gaping open. "I, uh..." I start to think fast. I can't get in trouble because of this. "I was telling Lena how much I enjoy your class."

Mr. Fillmore looks flattered; he even pust his hand over his heart. "Isn't that sweet. You know what I enjoy?" I shake my head. "Sending disrespectful kids to detention. Today after school."

My whole body shrinks. My parents told me if I got into any trouble, they'd pull me out of school, maybe even perform the cure early.

I turn around and glare at Lena. She looks really sorry, but it isn't enough.

After school, I make the walk to Fillmore's class. Hana is outside and flicks her wrist at me, as if she doesn't care less if she got me in trouble. She probably doesn't.

What I expected to see when I walked in was an empty classroom; no one breaks the rules. Instead, there were quite a few people, including Lena sitting in the corner.

I march right to her and slam my hand on her desk. She jumps and begins to freak out until she realizes it's just me.

"Oh gosh, Willow I'm so sorry. I never meant for you to get in trouble. I hope you'll forgive me."

I scoff and start to walk away, but turn suddenly and point my finger right at her nose. She draws back slightly, as if I am going to punch her.

"This," I said, pointing to the room around me. "Is why I don't want to be your friend. You and your little Hana are _way _too friendly. You guys aren't safe! You're infected! I can't catch this disease, Lena. I can't."

Just as I had finished, Fillmore came up beside me and clamps a hand on my shoulder. "What a touching speech. Take a seat on the other side of the room."

Detention is crap, as always. Being told crap, then doing crap, then talking crap about crap. I can feel Lena watching me, but I choose to ignore her. I hope she can see how much I hate this.

When we finally get to leave, Hana is still outside the door, waiting for her precious pet. She flicks her wrist again, and I ignore it again.

I run out of the school before Lena can catch me, but somehow she does.

"Willow, really, I'm so sorry," she rushes out.

"Whatever, Lena. I mean obviously you're used to detention. Why would I hang out with you?"

She scrunches her eyebrows and looks me in the eyes. "The reason I was in detention was because I told Fillmore it was my fault you had talked. He asked if that means it's completely my fault and asked if I should be put in detention. I agreed, but I guess he didn't let you go." she shrugs. "I tried, I really did."

I look away and bit my lip. No one I have ever known would do something like that. It just shows that Lena actually is a good person, and that she cares about other people. Not just herself and Hana.

I sigh. "Look, earlier when I said the twenty-ninth, I was trying to be rude. But, I actually have plans that day. How's the first?"

Her apologetic face turns into a wide smile, showing all her perfect white teeth. "That would be great! It's a date." I cringe, but suppress any other emotions. If this is what friendship is, I'll have to learn to accept it.

"Um, well now that we've figured that out, my parents are probably freaking out," I think for a second about my parents and shake my head. "But probably not. I got to get home anyways though. See you later."

She waves and I continue walking. I turn back and see her and Hana running the opposite direction. I always forget they like to run everyday after school.

Just as I make it to my house, I see my neighbor tending his garden again. This time, he sees me and waves. I walk over to the fence separating our lawns and lean against it.

"Are you trying to rub something in my face?" He gets a quizzical look on his face and I continue. "Yesterday I yell at you, and today you're waving like we've known each other forever."

He laughs and bows his head. "I waved because we're going to live next to each other for quite awhile. Plus, you were so checking me out yesterday."

My jaw drops in amazement. "How dare you accuse me of that!" I scream. "I was not, you creep!"

This makes him laugh harder, and his black lab lying in the shade looks back and forth between the two of us.

"I can tell when teenage girls are checking me out." He rubs his neck and I notice the procedural mark jutting out from his skin. "I, personally, am flattered. I didn't think I looked that hot."

I shake my head and hurry to find a response. "No, no, you have it all wrong. You were checking _me_ out, and thought the look I gave you was me rechecking you out. I, personally, think a cured man such as yourself should stay away from the ladies and focus on his pair."

He seems to register my words, then takes a step back and rubs his chin. "You're right. Cured men don't do this kind of thing. Maybe I should go for a second procedure."

I'm not too sure what I'm supposed to make of this, but I manage to push out a couple more words to end the conversation.

"I'm Willow, like the tree. I live right here. Nice to meet you." I do a tiny wave, just to show that I may be trying to make an effort.

He nods. "Willow. I'm Ben. I live here," he points to his house, then to his dog. "And this is Blue. She's really nice if you're her friend."

The dog's tongue is sticking out of its mouth and she is panting, getting slobber all over the grass. I turn my nose upwards and look back at Ben. "I have enough friends."

With that, I am gone.

Ben doesn't say anything more and I run up the steps to my house. To my home.


End file.
